butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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