Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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