So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
that may or may not have been my penis.
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