I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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