I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
