Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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