Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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