Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it hurts more in the daytime
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
