best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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