wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
