just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
please come you make the beer taste better
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
