Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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