omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
