can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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