dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize