we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
