please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
