it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
