guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize