you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
