Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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