He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
