so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
