Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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