I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
