It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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