Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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