Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize