i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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