Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
