remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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