Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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