dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
