You're completely useless in the revolution.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
