so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
