I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize