it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
