the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
