is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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