Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize