Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize