so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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