i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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