there's paper in my vomit.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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