I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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