Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
