nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
