Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
