woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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