Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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