we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
