last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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