are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she peed on how many people?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
