The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
