He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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