Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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