If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
