It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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