This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
