Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
