So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
