Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
