She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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