Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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