you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
