so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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