The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
