Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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