He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
